Bo Lozoff wrote that there are three messages woven through all of the spiritual wisdoms that would help lead to happiness.
The first is to be cautious of materialism. Be careful of what you want and live a simple life. We've all seen the trappings of consumerism. Christmas shoppers being mauled during Black Friday like the running of the bulls. Shoppers leaving box stores and loading up trucks and SUVs with gigantic purchases, and our landfills overflowing with those same purchases a short time later.
For me, living a simple life means reducing those moments. We all make compromises in life, but I have tried to make a stand during holidays to not engage in exchanging gifts. I insist on nothing but warm wishes for birthdays and try to consume only what I need. This also means gifting older items to those in need or recycling to help preserve resources.
The second message is to dedicate yourself to something you truly believe in. Find a cause, a practice or a movement you think is beautiful and important and devote the time, energy and resources to engage in it deeply. I am searching for this - I am back at church and engaging in community there. I am also exploring options with NH Listens. I am ready to energize myself with a devotion to something beautiful.
The third message is to establish a spiritual practice and commit to it on a daily basis. Being still and listening. Seeking answers from within. My practice is a combination of writing, music, exercise and meditation. The meditation is the most important. I spend 30 minutes a day in quiet meditation looking for guidance from within.
How am I doing? How is my practice going? I think I'm nibbling at the edges on the verge of a breakthrough. I am moving to 60 minutes of meditation a day by using a scheduling system. Not rote practice, but a way to structure my time to ensure that I invest in what I truly want first, and then let the spontaneous emerge while my state of mind is more healthy.
This is my plan for April. Become more structured with my approach, but leave lots of room for experimentation in the practice and emergence of new thinking.
Monday, March 27, 2017
It Takes Practice
I get the sense that most folks are like me. Mostly sleepwalking through life, riding the waves of the universe and reacting to 'what's next.' Late in life I've discovered that to get what you want, you need to know what it is you want and plan to get it. Not specific detailed plans, although those would help, but more dedicating the time, energy and resources that move you in the general direction of what you truly want.
When I leave things to chance, I become distracted. It's too easy to spend time on the Google Machine, or lost in random thought. My shift has been to journal, schedule and document. Creating specific time to devote to the things that bring me joy. Writing, playing the guitar, exercise, reading and meditating to name the primaries.
What that does is allow what's important to me to emerge. Sometimes it is in something I'm writing, or in a piece of music I'm playing. Other times I finish an exercise regimen or a meditation session and I see something new and exciting; new patterns emerge for me - new ways of thinking.
That's the critical part to get over as a person. You are not chiseled in marble and are not committed to the person you were yesterday. You can change. You have the power. It takes more than technique, however. You must change fundamentally and build and sustain new practices that provide a foundation for the person you wish to become. Without the structural support, you move back and forth in your behavior like a rubber band, always coming back to the old you because it's what you know, what you are comfortable with.
This shift is not impossible and anyone can engage it. It requires nothing more than building a spiritual practice into your life that takes only a few moments a day. A time to be silent and still; to listen and to be guided. As you build this, you begin to see the whole more clearly. Your choices become more centered as your values emerge to guide you.
You also see the suffering around you more clearly. The gap between our true values and what we choose to do each day cause us emotional distress. Aligning our values, choices and behaviors is simple but not easy.
It takes practice.
Sunday, March 12, 2017
Practice Makes Perfect
My practice is helping. Me and others. It's a cornucopia of activities and includes exercise, meditation, playing the guitar and learning. Each provides a slice of what my life needs in this moment.
Exercise is keeping me healthy - mind and body. Walking, push ups, pull ups and some weights. Many times I'm able to combine learning with my exercise by listening to podcasts and have grown very fond of Seth Godin. He's a remarkable person and I'll write a post about him in the near future.
My meditation practice keeps me sane. To be able to quiet my mind when I'm faced with systematic antagonism in my work is critical to my survival. I would like to increase my time to 60 minutes a day, from 30 minutes.
The guitar playing is not as consistent as I would like it to be. There's no way to master anything without consistent practice. It is every bit as peaceful as meditating and can bring solace to any day. I often daydream about playing well with other good musicians.
I am a life-long learner. I can't help it. 75% of the books I read are non-fiction. I listen to podcasts, TED Talks and books. Growth is an essential part of life. Without it, your soul withers and you lose a sense of purpose. I get much of that growth by learning and stepping into the uncertainty. This might work. This might not work.
All of these things add up to a better self for me.
I'm practicing for life.
Exercise is keeping me healthy - mind and body. Walking, push ups, pull ups and some weights. Many times I'm able to combine learning with my exercise by listening to podcasts and have grown very fond of Seth Godin. He's a remarkable person and I'll write a post about him in the near future.
My meditation practice keeps me sane. To be able to quiet my mind when I'm faced with systematic antagonism in my work is critical to my survival. I would like to increase my time to 60 minutes a day, from 30 minutes.
The guitar playing is not as consistent as I would like it to be. There's no way to master anything without consistent practice. It is every bit as peaceful as meditating and can bring solace to any day. I often daydream about playing well with other good musicians.
I am a life-long learner. I can't help it. 75% of the books I read are non-fiction. I listen to podcasts, TED Talks and books. Growth is an essential part of life. Without it, your soul withers and you lose a sense of purpose. I get much of that growth by learning and stepping into the uncertainty. This might work. This might not work.
All of these things add up to a better self for me.
I'm practicing for life.
Sunday, March 5, 2017
What's Next?
Billions of us have more information and connectivity at our fingertips today than any human who came before us. The tools and resources available on the Google machines are mind bending. We can know anything at any time and connect with other humans across the planet. The technology is developing at an incredible pace.
But does it connect us in meaningful ways? Are we able to connect and build on values, create narratives that bind us together in this virtual world? I don't think so. I believe these tools and resources are incredible supplements to living in this fast-paced world, perhaps even driving the pace. As such, they are indispensable. As substitutes for interpersonal, face-to-face human interaction, they are dangerous.
The challenge becomes the absence of personal connection. Civil dialogue in the US has always been issue dependent, with certain hot-button emotional issues creating conflict. We've had our share of canings and duels, but these really have been the exception and not the rule. Along comes the internet, adding layers of anonymity and creating cesspools of attack conversations.
Interestingly, to me, anyway, is that this type of conversation has been migrating to face-to-face interactions. People are feeling emboldened to be aggressive. Shoot first, ask questions later. There is a distinct lack of curiosity in many of our public meetings. Motives and intent are assigned in even the most innocent of circumstances. Good people are being chased from public service and only time will tell if the replacements are up to the task of compromise and leadership.
It seems that the pendulum is swinging away from the civil deliberation movement and more toward the authoritarian, tell us what to do model. Is there a tipping point where we all say ENOUGH?
I want to believe there is a yearning for something deeper. A more meaningful connection to others. It's what I want in my life. But this is my worldview, built on my experiences, trials and tribulations. Are people willing to convene and deliberate? Is there room in the conversation for disagreement and understanding?
I think there is only one way to find out. I hope to begin building a campaign for the public good. To make sure we create a forum where people can come together and share vision for the future. The future of our communities and our families. Without shared vision, we become atomized and lonely, susceptible to demagogues and con-artists. We look for the rider on the white horse to come in and save the day.
The power is with us. We decide what's next.
But does it connect us in meaningful ways? Are we able to connect and build on values, create narratives that bind us together in this virtual world? I don't think so. I believe these tools and resources are incredible supplements to living in this fast-paced world, perhaps even driving the pace. As such, they are indispensable. As substitutes for interpersonal, face-to-face human interaction, they are dangerous.
The challenge becomes the absence of personal connection. Civil dialogue in the US has always been issue dependent, with certain hot-button emotional issues creating conflict. We've had our share of canings and duels, but these really have been the exception and not the rule. Along comes the internet, adding layers of anonymity and creating cesspools of attack conversations.
Interestingly, to me, anyway, is that this type of conversation has been migrating to face-to-face interactions. People are feeling emboldened to be aggressive. Shoot first, ask questions later. There is a distinct lack of curiosity in many of our public meetings. Motives and intent are assigned in even the most innocent of circumstances. Good people are being chased from public service and only time will tell if the replacements are up to the task of compromise and leadership.
It seems that the pendulum is swinging away from the civil deliberation movement and more toward the authoritarian, tell us what to do model. Is there a tipping point where we all say ENOUGH?
I want to believe there is a yearning for something deeper. A more meaningful connection to others. It's what I want in my life. But this is my worldview, built on my experiences, trials and tribulations. Are people willing to convene and deliberate? Is there room in the conversation for disagreement and understanding?
I think there is only one way to find out. I hope to begin building a campaign for the public good. To make sure we create a forum where people can come together and share vision for the future. The future of our communities and our families. Without shared vision, we become atomized and lonely, susceptible to demagogues and con-artists. We look for the rider on the white horse to come in and save the day.
The power is with us. We decide what's next.
Find Your Tribe
What does it take to shift your perspective? When was the last time you changed your thinking on a topic that you held to be fundamentally true?
We get wrapped up in our confirmation bias and it is difficult to move us off our position. Adding to the bias are our ingrained habits and absorbed environmental cues. And if that wasn't enough to keep us rooted in our beliefs, let's sprinkle traditions, family history and bake it in an oven of culture for a few hundred years. That should harden things up.
Facts do not change these dynamics. No amount of logic moves someone from one position to another. Our new president has folks running around talking about alternate facts. This is an interesting concept, no? X happens, you want it to be Y, so you just say Y is true. There, that was easy.
People are moved by emotion. Our fears, joys and sorrows are what guide our rational selves to create narratives. These narratives help shape our worldview, which nearly all of us believe to be 100% true, despite the reality that there are 7 billion of us on the planet, each with his or her own worldview that they think is correct.
Finding opportunities to share our stories is so important. We become connected and human through the specific details of what we are sharing. We relate. We empathize (those that are capable, anyway). We hold on to the common values that we hear in our stories and bind together.
We are a social animal. The tribe has always been crucial to our survival. Share your story. Find your tribe - get involved. Help.
We get wrapped up in our confirmation bias and it is difficult to move us off our position. Adding to the bias are our ingrained habits and absorbed environmental cues. And if that wasn't enough to keep us rooted in our beliefs, let's sprinkle traditions, family history and bake it in an oven of culture for a few hundred years. That should harden things up.
Facts do not change these dynamics. No amount of logic moves someone from one position to another. Our new president has folks running around talking about alternate facts. This is an interesting concept, no? X happens, you want it to be Y, so you just say Y is true. There, that was easy.
People are moved by emotion. Our fears, joys and sorrows are what guide our rational selves to create narratives. These narratives help shape our worldview, which nearly all of us believe to be 100% true, despite the reality that there are 7 billion of us on the planet, each with his or her own worldview that they think is correct.
Finding opportunities to share our stories is so important. We become connected and human through the specific details of what we are sharing. We relate. We empathize (those that are capable, anyway). We hold on to the common values that we hear in our stories and bind together.
We are a social animal. The tribe has always been crucial to our survival. Share your story. Find your tribe - get involved. Help.
Thursday, March 2, 2017
God Save the Queen
We're watching a fairly engaging series on Netflix called The Crown. It's a BBC-type, 10 episode series on Queen Elizabeth's transition to power in the 1950s. As usual with the Brits, the dialog is excellent and the writers have captured some of the unique story lines very well.
I am left wondering if this is one of those historical fictions, where most of the broader details are accurate and the specifics are fiction designed for entertainment value. For the life of me I can't figure out who is telling the story - and can only speculate that it is woven together from multiple sources.
It is fascinating though that Queen Elizabeth came to power because her uncle abdicated the throne in the 1930s. David was in love with an American divorcee and could not bear the idea of leaving her to become King of England. The King is also head of the Church of England, which does not allow royal family members to marry a second time while the first spouse is still alive. For any reason.
David abdicated, and Albert (The King's Speech - King) became King George. Albert had two daughters, Elizabeth and Margaret, and Elizabeth, being the elder, was Albert's heir. She became Queen in 1952 at 26 years of age.
There's very interesting power dynamics displayed in the series, especially the interactions between the young queen and Prime Minister Churchill (played by John Lithgow). The series reflects an older statesman, struggling with his physical incapacity but retaining a sharp mind and iron will. Churchill is a somewhat sympathetic character in the show, although there are moments where he sacrifices his integrity to hold on to power.
It is a solid show, full of education and entertainment.
I am left wondering if this is one of those historical fictions, where most of the broader details are accurate and the specifics are fiction designed for entertainment value. For the life of me I can't figure out who is telling the story - and can only speculate that it is woven together from multiple sources.
It is fascinating though that Queen Elizabeth came to power because her uncle abdicated the throne in the 1930s. David was in love with an American divorcee and could not bear the idea of leaving her to become King of England. The King is also head of the Church of England, which does not allow royal family members to marry a second time while the first spouse is still alive. For any reason.
David abdicated, and Albert (The King's Speech - King) became King George. Albert had two daughters, Elizabeth and Margaret, and Elizabeth, being the elder, was Albert's heir. She became Queen in 1952 at 26 years of age.
There's very interesting power dynamics displayed in the series, especially the interactions between the young queen and Prime Minister Churchill (played by John Lithgow). The series reflects an older statesman, struggling with his physical incapacity but retaining a sharp mind and iron will. Churchill is a somewhat sympathetic character in the show, although there are moments where he sacrifices his integrity to hold on to power.
It is a solid show, full of education and entertainment.
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